and Costello Meet Microsoft Windows"
From Sheldon Koehler
Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbot: Yes, Lou?
Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40
Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbot: That's terrific, Lou.
Costello: But I don't know what any
of it means!!
Abbot: You will in time.
Costello: That's exactly why I am here
to see you.
Costello: I heard that you are a real
Abbot: Well, I don't know-
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your
stuff. And you're going to train me.
Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for
my first lesson.
Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello: I am having no problem turning
it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn
Abbot: That's true.
Costello: So, here I am working on
my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello: No, I told you, I want to
turn it off.
Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-
Costello: Wait a second. I want to
turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbot: I did.
Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello: Why should I press the Start
Abbot: To shut off the computer.
Costello: I press Start to stop.
Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?
Costello: Start what?
Abbot: Start button.
Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbot: Shut down.
Costello: You don't have to get rude!
Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-
Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off
the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button
and Cease and Desist button, butno one in their right mind presses
the Start to Stop.
Abbot: But that's what you do.
Costello: And you probably Go at Stop
signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.
Costello: I'M being ridiculous? Well.
I think it's about time we started this conversation.
Abbot: What are you talking about?
Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.