"Abbott and Costello Meet Unix"
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about Unix:
Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?
Abbott: Yes, that's correct.
Costello: No, what is it ?
Costello: So, which is the one ?
Abbott: No. which is used to find the program.
Costello: Stop this. Who are you ?
Abbott: Use who am i not who r yoo. You can also finger yoo to get information about yoo.
Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
Abbott: Use what.
Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
Abbott: No. true gives you 0.
Costello: Which one ?
Abbott: true gives you 0. which programname
Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
Abbott: Type find / -name it -print to find it. Type what program to get the revision code.
Costello: I want to find the revision code.
Abbott: You can't find revisioncode, you must use what program.
Costello: Which command will do what I need?
Abbott: No. which command will find command.
Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.
Abbott: You can write that only if that is a user on your system.
Costello: Write what?
Abbott: No. write that. what program.
Costello: Cut that out!
Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for cut. Don't forget the options.
Costello: Do you always do this ?
Abbott: du will give you disk usage.
Abbott: help is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Costello: You make me angry.
Abbott: No, I don't make me angry but I did make programname when I was upset once.
Costello: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
Abbott: No more? which will help you find more. Every system has more.
Costello: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
Abbott: Understand that since help is such a small program, it is better not to nice help. and more now is not allowed but at now is. Unless of course now is a file name.
Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
Abbott: I didn't know you needed help with pc. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.